The ADM Team prepare to investigate what is going on at the bottom of our chart
The week in ADM
Michael 'Aqua Man' Palmer plumbs the depths to swim with the bottom feeders on the ADM chart
Let's get this out the way right off the bat:
Swans are still top of the chart. They're going to
be top for a while. We're just going to have to come to terms with
that. Their 8.5 seems unattainable at this point. That's ok though,
right? Let's just push past it. There's still plenty going on in
the depths of our chart.
Let's begin by going on a journey to these depths. Slap on the wet
suit, strap in to the oxygen pack. Do the other stuff that you
probably have to do before you go diving. Snorkels? Is that a
thing? Do that. We're travelling down the chart. We begin by
pushing past Swans, bobbing on the surface. We pass the 8s, down
through the 7s. Next is the…oh wait, Swans bobbing on the surface!
HA! That worked out great! Anyway, the journey. We pass the 7s, the
high 6s, the low 6s. The pressure is getting pretty intense now,
the light dimming. Life is getting more and more sparse. Let's keep
going, deeper…
We swim by the 5s, still getting lower, the pressure still
building. We meet Lily Allen at the 5.4 mark. The
journey can't end here? Can we go further? Can our fragile human
bodies take the strain? Wait. What's that? Is that something
swimming beneath us? There it goes again! A strange being, it
doesn't seem to need light to survive down here. Let's see if we
can get a closer look…
The pressure is getting almost unbearable. Our oxygen is running
low. We need to find this thing soon. How can anything even survive
down here? Oh, there it is! I see it! Can you? It's right in front
of us. It's Afrojack! The Dutch DJ has made his
home waaaaaay down here at the depths of our chart, down in the 4.2
range. It's the 31st worst rated album in all of ADM history
according to, um, oceanic science books. What is it foraging on
down here? How can it survi--ach wait, that's too much now. I've
gone over the line. Ok, let's drop the diving thing. Nobody likes
the Afrojack album.
Elsewhere: Sharon Van Etten's latest gets an 8.0
and second spot on our chart, Oscar-nominated Owen
Pallett charts with a respectable 7.5, The
Roots get 7.0, Cherry Ghost gets 6.8,
Mr. Scruff gets 6.3 and Coldplay
still sit on 6.1.